The Hipocritix Mission Statement

A Bit About Me (Not That You Asked)

Hey, what’s up? My name is Joshua Zan Disney—no relation, I assure you, otherwise I’d pay for my own domain name rather than using a free blog hosting site. Here’s a picture of me next to a cannon—pretty dope, right?

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For those about to rock, we something something…

Ok, down to business…I’ve been an avid consumer of books, music, and movies (read: a lazy bastard) for years. While I always dreamed of making art, music, and various other media of my own, I never quite found the motivation. It’ll happen soon, I swear.

Still, my media intake was never entirely passive. Regardless of how many bags of Chili Cheese Fritos I’ve ingested in a supine position while re-watching a Simpson’s episode for the thirtieth time, I was always trying to glean something from what I was watching, listening to, or reading. Something about writing, joke structure, comedic timing, something.

How I Got To Be This Way

With no disrespect to my parents, I often claim that I was “raised by about fifteen VHS tapes—most of them starring Adam Sandler.” Obviously this is an exaggeration, but it’s also true on many levels. Media taught me from a young age, for better or worse, what it meant to be human. As such, however clever or witty I may find a George Saunders or David Sedaris piece, I’ll never find it as funny as this:

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My girlfriend is a fuckin’ saint for putting up with me tbh

Though I’m glad that my parents inculcated their ideas of right and wrong in me, I’m equally grateful to my friend John for burning me all of Elliott Smith’s albums, as well as the self-titled Velvet Underground album (not the banana one, the one with “Pale Blue Eyes” and “After Hours,” you plebs!) at the rough, tender age of 16.

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Yes, I have gotten into fights about this. How did you know?

 

What is Hipocritix?

The name “Hipocritix” came from my misunderstanding of a lyric from John Lennon’s song “Gimme Some Truth” (I’m pretty sure he just says ‘hypocrites,’ but seriously, listen to it, you’ll see what I mean).

At my core, I realized that I was a hypocritical critic—I decried shitty, “unworthy” media without offering the world anything of my own that could be judged by the same harsh criteria. And I thought that made me “hip,” hence my silly misspelling.

This blog is my attempt to rectify that problem, or at least to justify why I feel the way I do.

The best analogy I can offer is that I’ve been like a sponge for nearly 26 years. Over that time I’ve soaked up all sorts of things, so now that I’m beginning to wring out that sponge, some strange, funny-smelling liquid is going to come out. Hopefully there’s something of value in it, but sometimes the liquid is going to be mostly Mad Dog 20/20 and tobacco spittle. Sorry, not sorry.

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Hipocritix exists at the junction between Otto Mann and Thomas Mann 

My Mission

My aim for this site is to carve out a space for myself and fellow media enthusiasts to turn media consumption into an art in and of itself. If that sounds stupid or pretentious to you…

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Have you seen The Big Lebowski? It’s real good.

At first glance, the idea of Hipocritix is a bit selfish—I want to get my ideas about art and media out into the world (okay, to the ten or so people who are going to read these ramblings). But at a deeper level, albeit not much deeper, I hope I can be of some small service to you; helping you find a new movie, book, or band to obsess over; pointing something out in a way you haven’t thought of before.

What I’d Like You To Do

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This could be us! Come be a fictional clay-mation character with me!

I’m eager to hear other people’s opinions, especially if you think I’m dead wrong about something. Let’s have a lively debate! Also, if you’re so inclined, write your own piece, and I’ll put it up alongside mine and we can form our own little Island of Misfit Toys.

The Hipocritix Guarantee

I’m almost done babbling, I swear. I just want to make a few promises to you, my prospective readers.

I hereby swear that all of my posts will:

– Contain at least 5 seemingly irrelevant pop culture references that may or may not tie back to a central theme

– Be full of parenthetical statements, useless asides, and unfinished

– Probably read like a dime-store version of Chuck Klosterman

In closing, I’d like to paraphrase a line from eminent bad-ass motherfucker, Liam Neesons.

54d46015dd1f0_-_esq-taken-de“I don’t know who you are. I don’t know why you’re visiting my blog. If you’re looking for ransom, I can tell you I had to buy my last pack of cigarettes with loose change. But what I do have are a very particular set of random knowledge, knowledge I have acquired over a very indolent life. Knowledge that makes me insufferable to people who liked the movie version of ‘Watchmen…’ I will look for you, I will find you, and I will cram my ideas down your brain hole.”

 

Cheers, mates!

-Josh, aka Hipocritix

 

 

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